The Fact of the Surprise

1.7.2021

Yesterday, as urged by the current President, White Supremacists stormed the capitol building in order to challenge and upset the process for confirming Biden as president—a role Biden won without question.

As I watched the news and witnessed the unfolding story, I noticed the degree of surprise with which people responded. (And I use the word surprise very intentionally.) I’m not talking about the surprise that predictions of something like this happening in last days of Trump’s presidency have come true. Nope. I’m talking about something deeper—

My loves, this is not something that we “should have seen coming.” No way; THIS IS NOT A NEW STORY.

What I was witnessing WAS the violence, pain, and terror that Black, Indigenous, and People of Color have been experiencing on a daily basis, and speaking up about, for hundreds of years.

Please read that sentence again. What we witnessed WAS the violence, pain, and terror that Black, Indigenous, and People of Color have been experiencing and speaking about for over 500 years.

It’s time to listen to the storytellers.

Four years ago exactly, I rented a small writing studio near the bay. The eight-foot by ten-foot room was a sanctuary for my brewing writing ideas. Down the hall, a badass artist rented a studio—she made chainmail, shoes, and jewelry. I wish I could remember her name, but I can’t. She had long dark hair, was shorter than me, and wore all sorts of jeans and leather. She was from Chicago. One day, just before Trump’s inauguration, we had a conversation in the doorway of her studio. I remember her saying in that slightly-raspy voice, “…because we live in a fascist country.” I obviously looked surprised because she followed with, “I know it because I’ve seen it. Coming from living in the middle of Chicago, I’ve seen things that would blow your Pacific Northwest mind. It’s coming. Don’t doubt it; it’s coming.”

I was in the midst of researching for my book about WWII and, of course, Hitler and the Nazis, and her words scared me. But at that time I only understood fascism through the lens of history. Although her words helped me to prepare for what was coming—they also jumpstarted my process of recognizing the daily safety in which I live.

Now, four years later, we’ve seen these actions before, including Trump’s response to Charlottesville and federal officers grabbing and detaining Black Lives Matter protestors.

Yesterday, as I compulsively checked and re-checked the news, I just kept breathing and acknowledging the fact of the surprise.

I acknowledge the trepidation and anxiety I felt, as a White woman, was nothing—nothing—compared to the compounded intensity and trauma of what BIPOC people were likely feeling while watching the very same news. I can not know, and will never know, such a level of fear because I have never HAD to feel it—and likely never will—because I am White in a system that oppresses those who are not. Watching the news, I felt the sharp unfairness that the information was being presented as a surprise. It has been said all along, for so long, in so many ways. (And to my friends who identify as White, please take a breath, pause for a moment, and recognize, too, that if the people who stormed the capital were BIPOC, they would be in jail right now, if not dead.)

Fortunately, we have not fallen completely into fascism. But yesterday we were close to toppling down that cliffside.

Now that Biden and Harris have been confirmed, we have massive work to do, my loves. We must start by listening. We must change our narratives, and quickly. This terror is not something new, but rather very, very old. We must elect officials who have been speaking. We must respect the artists who speak of these emotions from the first-person experience and who know the strength of spirit required to thrive. We must practice being people who listen, and stay with it even when the facts become seemingly unbearable (it’s only fair). We must receive the guidance and wisdom of those who are not surprised by this story. And we must follow the leadership of those who know these realities intimately, who have been telling and re-telling this story for far too long.

Special Thanks to Dan Botan for sharing his image through Unsplash.com.